A rock star’s guide to entering politics
When it comes to politics it is my belief that musicians and celebrities should stay out.
But out of all the rockers, rappers and movie stars trying to give us terrible election advice, one man’s idea could save George Bush’s presidency.
Joe Walsh proves not all rock stars are dummies.
Walsh was a ’70s rock ’n’ roll musician who spent his early years as a member of the James Gang, releasing a few solo albums here and there.
He got his big break in 1976 when he joined the Eagles as lead guitarist and their following album, Hotel California, hit number one on the Billboard charts.
Although the band soon broke up, Walsh was able to ride the success of the Eagles and continued to kick out solo hits. He became so popular that in 1980 he decided to run for president of the United States.
If at first the idea of a rock star running for president seems idiotic to you, it might be a good idea to remember that the winner of the 1980 election was Hollywood B-actor Ronald Reagan.
Walsh didn’t have enough political experience to stand a chance in the election, and his campaign became so pitiful, he promised America that if he were elected he would give free gasoline to everybody in the U.S.
His slogan became “Free gas for all.”
Of course, the idea of a presidential candidate giving free gasoline to everyone in America is completely laughable, but nobody would expect anything less from a superstar musician running for president of the United States.
If you take into account the trend that has been going on recently, it might not seem so ridiculous.
Recently analysts have seen a link between President George Bush’s approval rating and the price of gasoline.
Besides the month following the Sept. 11 attacks — when Bush’s approval rating reached 90 percent, the highest of any president since the Gallup poll was started in 1938 — the price of gasoline seems to have a nearly constant relationship with the president’s rating since his inauguration in 2000.
This theory seems to have been proven in the last few weeks as gas prices have plunged and Bush’s approval reached the highest it has been in months.
Joe Walsh’s dull campaign suddenly becomes ingenious, whether he intended it to be or not.
The key to Bush’s presidency is just that. He needs to give America free gasoline. He could become the most popular president of all time. His ratings would skyrocket. He could do anything he wanted and nobody could complain.
Would you argue with the president if he were giving you free gas? I wouldn’t.
If Bush gave America free gasoline, his approval rating would reach at least 100 percent.
So next time the president is looking for a new Cabinet member, write him and tell him you want Joe Walsh.
My tank is getting low.