The ins and outs of anal sex
Dear Spectrum: My boyfriend has been dropping hints lately that he would like to try anal sex, but I’m worried about it. Is it safe? Will it hurt?
Tentative Experimenter
Dear Experimenter: Anal sex is one of those things that makes good fodder for jokes, but when it comes down to actually discussing doing it, scares the crap out of people.
It can be as daunting as your first time, because in a very real sense it is again, but really it’s nothing to be afraid of.
The cardinal rule of anal sex is lubrication. You can never have too much.
Another rule, which may be just as important, is to take it slow.
Even if you follow these rules it may still hurt a bit at first, but the more you worry the more likely you are to tense up, and the tenser you are the worse it will be.
If you do decide to give it a shot just relax and try to enjoy yourself. Everything is better that way.
As for safety there is really only one concern unique to anal sex: urinary tract infections.
The anus is not a clean place, bacteriologically speaking, and after ejaculation the man’s urethra has lost its primary defensive mechanism (its relatively high acidity) and still contains small amounts of energy rich semen. It can, when exposed to the wrong things, become a bacterial breeding ground.
For that reason it is important, even if you have reached a point in your relationship where you are monogamous and for whatever reason no longer feel the need to use condoms, to always use a condom during anal sex.
Although it sounds like common sense (and an unpleasant idea too) if you start with anal sex and move on to any more traditional method it is important to change condoms.
The same bacteria that can cause a UTI in men can do the same in women if you give them the chance.
The only other thing to bear in mind is that whatever lubricant you choose should be water based, both for easier cleanup when you’re done, and to reduce the risk of condom breakage.
As long as you follow these simple guidelines there is no reason anal sex can’t at least be safe if not pleasurable too, so go out there and experiment to your (or your boyfriend’s) heart’s content.
The Spectrum welcomes all letters seeking advice on sex and sexual health; they may be discretely dropped in our offices in 255 Memorial Union or emailed to Stephen.Baird@ndsu.edu. Your real name will not be published