You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers
The super sexy summer edition
Dear Spectrum: My friends and I got to discussing masturbation and the idea of frequency came up.
None of us could agree on how often was healthy or normal so we’re turning to you for answers. Got any?
Rosie Palms
Dear Rosie: Somehow discussions, especially those that start after a few adult beverages, seem to have an odd tendency to wander onto this subject.
Masturbation is one of those taboos that everyone acknowledges publicly but, for the most part, ignores privately.
It may explain why people can get uncomfortable when they talk about masturbation.
It may also explain why no one really wants to admit to how often they say hello to Rosie Palms and her five sisters.
Unfortunately for you, I don’t really have the answers you are looking for because there are none.
How often is healthy?
As often as you feel the need but not so often that you chafe.
How often is normal?
It depends on the person.
One thing to consider, for men at least, is that regular ejaculation has been shown to decrease the risk of prostate cancer.
In the same vein, however, excessive ejaculation may in fact increase the risk of prostate cancer.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ve answered your question.
The best I can say is that everyone has sexual urges and some of us choose to relieve them ourselves.
As long as you aren’t rubbing yourself raw you should be okay.
Dear Spectrum: During her period my girlfriend has absolutely awful cramps and she keeps insisting that sex will help her feel better.
As much as I want to help that just seems like something you don’t do.
I keep making excuses about how it seems like a bad idea health-wise but is there any real reason not to?
Crimson Warrior
Dear Warrior: Your health-based excuse won’t hold much water I’m afraid.
It’s just a little blood and although it can carry infections, they probably aren’t anything you haven’t been exposed to in other ways.
I can’t speak to the effectiveness of an orgasm as a method of pain control, but it’s an idea I’ve heard before too.
I don’t know that I’ve ever had a woman tell me it didn’t work, only that it did.
If you can’t stand the thought of having sex during your girlfriend’s period, you’re going to have to tell her.
If, however, you think you can stomach it then you might as well try.
You’ll find out if it’s as bad as you think and she’ll find out if it really does help her cramps.
If it turns out to be more effective than Midol and a nap she has a new winning strategy. If you still can’t stand it she can always go it alone.
Before the action starts, it’s important to make sure she understands that you don’t think it’s gross - she’s putting herself in as vulnerable a position as you are.
When you’re both uncomfortable, sex is just awkward and unpleasant.
Take it slow and make sure you’re both okay with it before you dive in.
Other than that, and laying something down that you won’t mind getting stained, it’s just like any other sexual experience.
Wrap it up, try to relax and have some fun.
Remember, just because she’s on the rag doesn’t mean you can’t get her pregnant.
The Spectrum welcomes all letters seeking advice on sex and sexual health; they may be discretely dropped in our offices in 255 Memorial Union or emailed to Stephen.Baird@ndsu.edu. Your real name will not be published