Transgender librarian shares her story
From definitions to dating and back again
Transgender is a word that everyone has heard, but the actual definition may be confusing to some.
A retired librarian, grandmother and transgender woman is on a mission to educate the country on everything from the definition of transgender to the hardships of the dating world.
Safe Zone invited Debra Davis to speak on campus Thursday. She was sponsored by the Diversity Council, YMCA NDSU and the 10 Percent Society.
Davis is a retired librarian and transgender woman traveling the country to speak about her life and educate people on the transgender community.
“ I am a grandma, a parent, a neighbor, a friend; there are a lot of things that I am,” Davis said. “And I also happen to be transgender.”
She said being transgender is just a small piece of who she is, but for some people it is a very important piece.
“ It just happens to be who I am,” Davis said.
Davis “came out” as a transgender person in 1998 at the school she was working at.
Davis is from Maple Grove, Minn., and “lives in a little liberal bubble in a very conservative community.”
In Minnesota, the country and quite possibly, the world, Davis is the first transgender person to successfully make the transition in a workplace without losing her job.
“ Successful meaning making the transition and going on just as before and as if it didn’t matter,” she said.
On her Web site, it said the transition seemed to take a little less than a week.
She said the staff and faculty dealt with it for about two days and then after the initial shock, they went back to work.
During her transition, many people in her life were supportive, including her partner at the time and even the principal at the school.
Because she is a transgender, people generally consider her an activist, Davis said.
Growing up, she always knew she was different but did not tell anyone.
“ There was always stuff that was different inside of me and I just didn’t know what it was,” Davis said. “My parents instilled in me that I was OK, so I always knew I was.”
During her presentation, she talked about when she played with the boys, doing the “rough and tumble sports,” but then when she got tired of that, she went to play with the girls.
“ I always had a little special friend that was a girl,” Davis said. “I even married my best friend out of college and had two children and now have four grandchildren.”
After many years of marriage, she and her partner divorced.
“ Now I am in the dating world,” she said.
During her presentation, Davis talked about how hard it is to date, even if she was not a transgender person.
“ I have been in the dating world and that is very scary for a 59-year-old woman,” Davis said. “And then you add the fact that I am transgender.”
She said she does not go around telling everyone that she is transgender but if a relationship is getting emotionally serious, the person deserves to know the truth.
Before coming out, Debra Davis still existed inside her, but officially, she did not have a name at first.
In order to choose a name, she and her partner at the time looked in the baby book.
She said in the baby book they had names picked out that they both liked.
“ Some names had stars by them and there were three names with the most amounts of stars by them,” Davis said. “The names were my two daughters and Debbie.”
Overall, her message to everyone is just to be kind, loving, caring and respectful to people of the world, she said.
For more information about Davis and her cause, visit her Web site www.debradavis.org.