Meaningful relationships worth the required effort
I’m sure the phrase “a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex” means different things to different people.
I have spent several years in search of such a relationship. I am still searching.
Along the way, I have learned a great deal about women and relationships in general.
I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. I have made more than my fair share of mistakes.
However, I feel that I can offer some helpful advice concerning relationships.
First and foremost, a meaningful relationship must serve some sort of purpose. Some people date just for the sake of having a significant other.
I feel that such a relationship usually won’t last long. A meaningful relationship has to be based on something more than infatuation, which is basically attraction based on appearance.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely think initial chemistry is required to start a relationship. However, as a bond grows, it can’t be superficial.
Infatuation is a powerful thing, which can be dangerous if mishandled.
A meaningful relationship also requires some level of commitment. Meaningful relationships are reciprocal, so if you want to get a lot out of them, you have to put a lot into them.
Giving of your time to someone you care about romantically is very crucial to this.
Now that I have discussed some characteristics of a meaningful relationship, I will offer some advice in trying to find someone for such a relationship.
Many people say that a bar is a good place to meet someone. I have mixed feelings about this.
A bar is a good place to socialize, yet I think that you would want to stay away from someone who drinks all the time.
Meeting someone through church-related activities is not a bad idea, as you would probably find someone who shares your values and beliefs.
There are several opportunities to find someone worth dating. Facebook can provide a way to meet someone.
If you are like me, you might be nervous about starting a conversation with someone that interests you such as a person you meet in class or through an organization. It somehow seems easier online.
But it is still important to be able to start a conversation in person.
You could ask this person for the time if there are no clocks around. You might even try starting a conversation about the weather or some other topic you might have in common.
I have some final advice geared toward women and some that pertains to men.
First I will speak to the ladies. Contrary to what many people may say, there still are some nice guys available.
As surprising as it may sound, the male ego can be a very delicate thing. Guys have feelings too.
Often times it takes a guy a great amount of courage to call a girl or ask her out on a date.
Even if you aren’t interested, it is still a good idea to be polite when letting a guy know that you don’t want to pursue a relationship with him. Take it as a compliment when a guy is interested in you.
To the guys, I definitely recommend being a gentleman with every girl that you are around.
I think that women appreciate the little things, such as holding a door open for them, more than we realize.
If you like a girl, then show a genuine interest in what is happening in her life. Pay close attention to her thoughts and feelings.
If you truly care about a girl’s emotions, you will get pleasure from doing the things that give her pleasure.
Meaningful relationships are complex, yet they are rather simple. Just do as the golden rule says, “Treat others how you would like to be treated.”
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum