Spend more time knowing people
Every year, many people make decisions that they are going to live differently. They want to change something about themselves, improve themselves, or succeed in more areas.
Instead of focusing on bettering myself this year, I want to focus on others. And I hope more people do the same.
You have your whole life to spend on yourself, but often only a short time to spend on others.
If you spend too much time on yourself, chances are you will miss many opportunities to learn and experience joy in life through other people.
As I’ve said before, I don’t believe in accumulating an excessive amount of relationships. If you amass too many, you barely have time for people. So instead of getting to know more people, you should know people well.
Know the people you already have relationships with. You don’t need to search for new relationships to find something fulfilling —just dig deeper into the relationships you already have.
Over break, I had the opportunity to interact with two of my friends in a deeper way than here at school.
I had known these friends for a year and more, so we didn’t waste time on getting to know each other — we already had those basics covered.
Instead, we learned how to know each other, what we dreamed about, what we thought about the deeper issues of life, and what we thought of each other.
There are two keys to knowing people more.
The first is intentionality. To know people, you need to be intentional about it. Seeing your friends in classes, at school, in the halls, in the dining centers — wherever you interact — isn’t enough. You will only know them in a superficial way.
Instead, you need to set aside time for that person. How can you expect to know people in a deeper way if you aren’t willing to sacrifice your time for them?
It might be inconvenient at times to set aside significant time for somebody else, but in the end, it is rewarding.
The second key to knowing people better is questions. Questions are like passwords into a person’s soul. Without them, a person will rarely offer secret information to others.
To know the person deeper, though, the questions need to be significant. Asking, “How is your day?” or “How are you doing?” doesn’t cut it.
Instead, ask about a person’s dreams, desires, problems, passions and past. The great thing is, most people love talking about themselves. They’re just looking for somebody to share with.
Relationships are the most crucial part of life, in my mind, and without them, life wouldn’t be worth living.
So I am going to try to spend more time knowing the people I already know, knowing them in a deeper, more significant way.
And this isn’t a simple New Year’s resolution either. Rather, it is a life resolution. I want to live my life in such a way that people always come first, and I hope there are more people out there who put others above themselves.
Dennis is a senior studying management communication.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum