Men Decoded: The Rules of Rejection
Glancing down at my cell phone confirmed my suspicion. Yes, it was the fifth un-replied-to-text from my new ‘friend’ in the youthful evening. My list of text messages was running on a weeklong tally nearing the triple-digits.
In an instant, the complete disgust turned from him to myself upon realizing I was being that dude. I was the person I hated. Something had to be done. After T9ing “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested” and an oh-too-brief hesitation, I pushed my response out into the abyss.
As the digital envelope swirled down verifying delivery, I felt like I did the right thing: I quit wasting his time. What a gift!
Unfortunately, everyone’s not always in the giving mood, leaving us to figure out for ourselves what translates to “I’m just not interested.”
According to a new book craze “He’s Just Not That Into You” by comedian Greg Behrendt and his cohort Liz Tuccillo, “men indirectly send this message via excuses such as not calling you, not having sex with you, seeing you only when they’re drunk, or disappearing on you.”
Simply put, with a little common sense and self-honesty, men can be more black and white than applied arithmetic.
“If I don’t like a girl I just tell her, but a lot of guys don’t. They pretend they don’t know she called, they avoid her and get away from it. The longer a guy has been in the dating world the more honest they become,” 27- year-old graduate student Jan Mevold said.
Women who are not entirely cool as ‘friends with benefits’ or ladies in a long or short term relationship that involves too much thinking it’s time to realize that this dude just might not really want to be with you, and that’s okay. Refer to the following ‘Time to Move-On’ Cheat Sheet:
• He’s busy.
Translation: “I don’t want to see you enough to do anything about it.”
Sorry ladies, “an excuse is a polite rejection,” the pros say. Think about it it’s true. Even the President of the United States would find time for someone he or she thought was worth it.
• He doesn’t answer calls or return text messages.
“If you give a guy your number and he doesn’t call in three days, that’s huge; he’s not interested, worse yet if he only calls drunk,” Rachel Rudiger, wellness education student, said.
• He doesn’t compliment you.
Lacie Luchtenberg, an environmental design major, considers a complete lack of flattery to be a bad signal. “Guys who are attracted say nice things,” Luchtenberg said. • He’s always with his friends.
“Dudes that consistently choose their bros over hoes know their role,” student Neil Keating said. “That’s a definite sign indicating a lack of interest.”
• He won’t instigate anything.
“If a guy thinks you’re worth it, he’ll do anything,” senior architecture major Kevin Thueringer said. “But if I’m not interested I won’t initiate. Moral of the story: if a guy likes someone he’ll ask them out.”
Sound familiar? It’s okay! Just don’t waste your own time and energy.
Detach yourself from the phone, go out on the town, take a dance class and next time, when someone is into you, you’ll know it!
Jennifer is a graduate student studying architecture.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum