The World I Kind of Know
My Relationship with Culture Today
I’m only twenty years old. I shouldn’t feel like time has passed me by, but I do.
I’m not hip or cool or fashionable and I don’t understand — or particularly like — much of our culture today.
I feel like Andy Rooney. At least I don’t look like him … yet.
So in the spirit of Andy Rooney, here’s a few of my observations about the world we live in today.
Gay marriage: Some people want to get married and some people don’t want them to get married because it will “destroy the sanctity of marriage.”
I’m not too sure I understand this reason because the sanctity of marriage has been diminished greatly by pre-nuptial agreements, adultery and divorce already.
I think the reason gay marriage has been so opposed is because most citizens don’t want couples who pee the same way to get married: “You left the seat up!” would fade into history.
Violence in the media: Now this is near and dear to my heart.
I grew up with Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Super Mario and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Cowabunga!
However, I am not a serial killer. I do not kill ninjas, or robots, or even brains with eyeballs and mouths that live inside robot legs, though I was subjected to this “brainwashing filth” on a weekly, sometimes daily basis as a child.
In fact, I’ve never shot a machine gun, Hannibal Lector is not my hero and I’ll occasionally swerve for squirrels.
In addition, I feel I’m not alone; this “violent” culture is the culture in which all of us were raised. So maybe violence in America can be attributed to something like…
Poverty: Ending poverty, hunger and homelessness in America has been the goal of many in our short but tumultuous history.
No one understands why we can’t. I bet it has something to do with mega-corporations hiding their untaxed money in tax shelters and foreign accounts or maybe just the fact that we live in a materialistic and capitalistic society.
Warren Buffet will be remembered for spending his mass fortune on a good cause, not for waiting so long to do so.
Reality TV: None of this is real. Show me the real “Real World” episode when everyone contracts an STD.
The only television that is actually real anymore is “24.”
You know, that uber-violent show where people get killed and tortured and things explode? Yeah, that’s real.
Jack Bauer used to play video games and watch the Ninja Turtles. Awesome!
In all “reality” though, reality TV wouldn’t be so annoying if it weren’t for…
MTV: I don’t know if it was ever “cool” in my lifetime, but the network that once set out to introduce the joy of music to the couch potato demographic has now morphed into a ridiculous channel about “real” spoiled brats having lavish parties, depressed twenty-somethings having mounds and mounds of sex and high-schoolers having football practice.
Makes me want to watch Vh1 where I can watch Verne Troyer having a nice pee in the corner of the living room.
Andy Rooney: Why is he so crabby?
Davin is junior studying history education.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum