NDSU will get a snow day when hell freezes over
For spring break, my wife and I flew out to Connecticut to visit her grandparents.
On Friday, a “Great Nor’ Easter” storm (as they obnoxiously love to call it), struck the state.
Days before the storm had hit, the area had been heeding storm warnings. When we woke up Friday morning, we all learned that school in the entire state had been cancelled.
The funny part is that not even a flake of snow fell until almost noon that day. Just the absolute certainty of the soon-to-be dangerous driving conditions (in a very hilly and mountainous region) was enough to call off school.
The scenario lead me to think of how back at home, just weeks prior, NDSU failed to call off classes in the midst of a two-day long National Weather Service winter storm warning.
I will admit that seven inches of snow is much more devastating in a terrain such as Connecticut’s than it is in Fargo, North Dakota.
Nonetheless, NDSU classes should have been cancelled during blizzard conditions. Cars couldn’t even back over the snow piles in their parking spots without getting stuck.
I’ve come to believe that NDSU administration should not have parking spots 10 inches away from their office building.
Like the rest of us, they should know what it is like to have 20 blocks of pure ice between their destination and the closest available campus parking spot.
In the end, most students declared their own snow day, opting to be safe rather than sorry and leaving classrooms laughably empty.
But instead of endlessly nagging, I’ll try to make light of the situation.
Before a headline will ever read “NDSU declares snow day, cancels classes”, here are other stories you will first encounter:
Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott cuts his own salary in half, allowing for all Wal-Mart employees to receive a dollar per hour raise.
This is unlikely because — trust me — I worked at Wal-Mart for a year.
NDSU decides to provide any sort of student parking for those who need to travel to the state-of-the-art NDSU Downtown Campus.
NDSU feels that everyone should ride the campus bus, thereby assuming everyone lives on campus.
Ketchup is found to have the cure for cancer.
This puts a whole new meaning to the phrase “Good meat doesn’t need ketchup.” Sadly, ketchup is loaded with salt, so you’ll lose your cancer but murder your liver and raise your blood pressure.
One degree raise in temperature over 100 years causes a significant increase of ice meltage in the South Pole.
The annual average temp rises from 63 degrees below zero to 62 degrees below, which is apparently the point where rapid ice melting occurs.
Arnold Schwarzenegger declares himself the Emperor of California and separates California from the Union. He then wages war against the rest of the world whom he calls “Girly men.”
Although I really do worry about Arnold doing such a thing, lucky for us that California is filled with “girly men,” and Arnold would have a hard time establishing an army that would even rival France’s.
Simon Cowell breaks out the microphone in American Idol and does his own number, which impresses American viewers to the point that they vote him the next American Idol.
This is very unlikely because Ryan Seacrest would then also sing a song, and despite whatever level of talent the two would posses, all the 13-year-old girls around the nation would vote for Seacrest over Cowell.
Once I realized I wouldn’t want all of these other horrible things to occur before there could ever by a snow day at NDSU, I wasn’t all that upset anymore.
Erich is a senior studying art.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum