New beautiful people-only site in bad taste
I have never been a big fan of online dating sites. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t resent their very existence. If other people use them and are happy with the results, good for them. But I was never personally interested in trying one, mainly because the whole idea came across as being a bit too forced, unnatural and even a bit desperate for my tastes. I don’t think they’re some sort of moral evil that threatens the very pillars of decency.
At least I didn’t think that until today. I was browsing CNN when I came across an article concerning a new dating site where a person can only become a member after the existing members decide they are physically attractive enough. The logic behind it, according to the site’s creators Jason Pellegrino and Sean Cohen, is that most dating sites attract a lot of people who just aren’t very attractive, and it’s time someone did something about it.
I can understand that people want to date someone they find attractive. It’s only natural. I don’t think anyone should have to feel like they are superficial for having that desire. However, the way this site is going about it is utterly repulsive.
First of all, everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful. Different cultural standards as well as personal preferences make for different standards of attractiveness.
Why on earth would I want a group of strangers voting on whether or not a potential romantic partner was attractive enough for me? I’d rather decide for myself. Yes, a few lucky souls out there would be considered beautiful by just about anyone, but most of us are beautiful at least to some people. Why deny someone the chance to meet someone attractive by their standards just because other people didn’t agree he/she was a beautiful person?
Secondly, photographs can lie. A person with enough Photoshop know-how can airbrush their picture. Even without that as a factor, there’s still the fact that some people just aren’t photogenic, even if they look good in real life. And some photogenic people are actually pretty average looking in person.
Thirdly, I believe most people find their romantic partners increasingly physically attractive the more they get to know them. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. Suddenly, she looks cute when she laughs, because you know her well enough to know she truly is happy. Or you notice how his passion for life shines through in his eyes, which you never noticed before.
I think my main problem with such a site is it focuses too much on what other people — complete strangers — think of you and your potential romantic partners. It focuses on one tiny part of what’s important in a relationship. Yes, you should find your partner attractive. Otherwise, you’d probably just be friends.
But it’s more important for your partner to have the kind of character qualities that are important to you. Those will still be there when they’re 70 years old. The flawless face and washboard abs won’t be.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum