Misery clubs are a laughing matter
Maybe I’ve laughed at one too many emo jokes. Or I could just be whatever you call the female version of an insensitive jerk. The fact of the matter is, when I came across the article in Monday’s Daily Mail on misery clubs, the latest fad in the U.K., I just couldn’t stop laughing.
In misery clubs, people get together to listen to gloomy music, indulge in depressing thoughts and chop green onions to get the tears flowing. Loss — the club featured in the article — was located in a candle lit 17th century wine vault, which adds to the morose atmosphere. Near the top of the page, I saw picture of a young woman with mascara running down her face.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but something about a group of strangers gathering together for the sole purpose of crying just tickles my funny bone.
Maybe it’s a lingering stereotype of ultra proper, Queen Elizabeth-like women and those emotionless, unmoving palace guards who aren’t allowed to bat an eyelash on duty. Yes, I have been to England and I do realize that’s just a stereotype, but that doesn’t stop me from giggling when I picture proper Queen Elizabeth crying into her tea as her makeup gets increasingly smeared.
The article said the fad originated in Japan, where businessmen can relieve stress by going to “tear therapy” meetings or renting rooms specifically for watching sad movies. Don’t even get me started on the mental image of an intelligent, well-dressed Japanese businessman paying money to watch a tearjerker and bawl his eyes out.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against emotions unless some it’s a blonde Barbie clone trying to sob her way out of the third speeding ticket in three days. It’s just that this new fad of going to a place specifically designed for publicly demonstrating one’s emotions is, for lack of a better word, weird.
Earlier this decade, we saw the appearance of laughter clubs. Everyone would just get together to laugh. No one told any jokes or did anything that was supposed to be funny. Large groups of strangers just got together to laugh. Supposedly people would get the giggles just from hearing everyone else laugh and this would relieve stress. It makes sense. I’d probably go just to see some straight-faced, emotionally reserved businessman trying his darndest to work himself into hysterics. Just the idea is amusing.
A May 2006 article in USA Today talked about people who get rid of pent-up rage in real life fight clubs inspired by the movie “Fight Club.” They actually beat each other up and come to work all bruised and battered the next day. Sounds a little creepy.
The way things are going, we will soon need clubs for every emotion imaginable. Why stop at rage, melancholy and jollity? Why not have, for instance, a warm, fuzzy feeling club? The walls could be painted with a pastoral setting, the sound of chirping birds could play over the speakers, cuddly puppies would be available upon request and complete strangers would hug each other.
Or, while we’re at it, why don’t we put all these emotion clubs right next door to each other, and when you’re tired of being depressed, you can go laugh. When you’re tired of laughing, you can beat someone up. When you’re tired of beating someone up, go play with the puppies and hug a stranger. Then you can take care of all your emotions at once.
Then, someone can start a new, trendy emotion-free club and make a killing off of all the emotionally overloaded people down the street.
Columnists' opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Spectrum