Confessions of a Fifth-Year Senior
Published: Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Updated: Wednesday, October 2, 2013 16:10
Being scared is no excuse.
This was the revelation I had just a few days ago. A revelation I believe has changed my life.
I never thought I would be one to want to return to my hometown, Bozeman, Mont., following graduation.
I always figured that I would move to somewhere new and exciting, start an adventurous life in a far off place or at the very least start a new life in Fargo.
However, this summer, after visiting home for a few days, I decided that Bozeman was where I wanted to be once I finished up my undergraduate degree.
This yearning to be back in my birthplace has been puzzling me for months.
I wondered why I suddenly had a change of heart.
Was it because my family was there? Was it because it no longer seemed like such an awful place…the place I remembered from high school? Was it that the city seemed full of new opportunities?
I found truth in many of these questions and ideas I continued to ponder.
I am very close to my family, and the ability to be five minutes from them, rather than 12 hours away is incredibly appealing. Not having to miss out on my nephew growing up would also be a plus.
The city of Bozeman also seems much different from the place that I grew up in. A city full of young adults…a city that seems to be working to partner more with Montana State University.
My last visit painted Bozeman as a youthful city… a city with many opportunities.
But, it was in those few moments, as I drove to campus last week, that I realized just why I wanted to go back to Bozeman.
I was scared.
I was afraid of the next chapter of my life. I was afraid to make, what seems like a life-changing decision. I was afraid of what the future might hold.
Going home, subconsciously, seemed like the easy way out…the comfortable thing to do.
I have been so comfortable in my life in Fargo and in my life at NDSU. So comfortable that if it was time to move on, the most logical (and safe) choice seemed to be going home, and going back to what I knew.
And then I thought to myself, “I have never been the type of person to do the easy thing. It was time to stop being scared and go where a new job takes me…go wherever life takes me.”
It was probably one of my biggest “ah-ha!” moments of my life to date.
I have taken so much from this moment of clarity.
I realized graduating from college is going to be scary. It’s going to lead to new and unchartered territory.
However, letting fear overtake my life and lead me to choices I ultimately might be unhappy with is no way to live.
No, from now on I will live without fear for the future, but rather with optimism. There are so many opportunities to be excited about.
Go out and experience life… leave fear at the door.