Going the Distance for Love
Dealing with Long-Distance Romance
Published: Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Updated: Friday, September 13, 2013 12:09
Moving to college in a different city or state demands a lot of changes in one’s lifestyle. It impacts one’s finances, living and food habits and romantic life as well. A lot of students find it not too difficult to handle finances and other issues once they are in college. The hardest of course is to balance their love lives.
Even in this day and age of telecommunications, it may be difficult to feel that connection with your significant other when they are miles away. Most of these relationships fail to make it through the second year of college. The big question is why do long-distance relationships fail?
While most of us agree and understand that they require a lot of work, we must ask ourselves if we are ready to put in that work. Students should understand and analyze if they will be able to make time with school and part-time jobs to still keep the flames alive over cellular airwaves and Skype calls.
Before starting, or in most cases, continuing long-distance relationships, students must find out if they need and want this in their life. The student must be aware there would be hours or even days when they would not be able to establish and maintain contact with their partner. Also, it could be a long time before they can see their partners again. With that set in their minds, it is easier to plan on making the relationship work.
The obvious plus sides of a long distance relationship are that one saves money on dates and outings and also the distance sometimes makes you cherish the bond you share while being miles apart.
“I think being long-distance strengthens my relationship,” Larua Mohn, a sophomore in veterinary technology, said. “We can’t rely on physical connection to keep us happy. We have gone through rough patches when we have to be apart for long periods of time, but so far we have come out of them stronger. On another note, being apart for so long makes the times we are together worth so much more to us.”
Patrick Hebert, a senior studying industrial engineering and management, whose girlfriend, Alice, is from Italy, said “long distance” is his middle name.
Hebert and girlfriend Alice have had to bear the brunt of distance three times in the past. Nonetheless, they made time for each other even when they were away. They have both been exchange students in each other’s countries over the course of this relationship to ensure they get to see each other.
“The biggest loss in a long distance relationship is the lack of a companion, for instance, someone to watch TV with, on a night you don’t feel like going out. Through this I have learnt to not take [our] time together for granted,” Hebert explained.
Abigail Cuttel, another student reiterated Hebert’s stance on the issue.
“You end up appreciating the time you have together more than if you saw each other regularly,” she said. “It makes it more special. It definitely is a two-way street though; you have to give and take.”
Most students agree that trust is a major factor in making or breaking the relationship. One has to trust his or her partner when they cannot see or monitor them and at the same time be trustworthy.
With all said and done, here are a few tips for those courageous ones on how to keep a long distance relationship alive.
1.Trust. Be trustworthy. Being honest with your partner is vital to the success of any relationship and is especially important in long-distance relationships.
2.Avoid jealousy. Jealousy can be the root of many problems in relationships. The moment one partner thinks the other is not a good match or someone else is better, the relationship ends.
3.Make time. Even if it is little amount of time, setting aside time to send a letter, text, call or have a Skype date shows your partner just how much your relationship means and that you care.
4.Say it like you mean it. The simple phrase of “I miss you” is a statement that carries a lot of weight. To ensure that your partner receives this message positively, express these words sincerely.
5.Practice good communication. Communicating well and often will help you and your partner to maintain a solid relationship.
6.Share activities together. Just because you are miles away does not mean you cannot do things together. You can watch the same movie or TV show together while talking on the phone or Facetiming. You can even challenge your partner to a race in solving a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
7.Plan visits. Planning a future is essential. Compare schedules with your significant other and see when a convenient time would be for you to visit one another. Seeing one another is important and will help strengthen the bond between the two of you.