He Said, She Said
Is it OK to Lie to a Significant Other?
Published: Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 15:10
He Said: “I don’t think lying is a good thing, but I also believe that everyone does it and there is no way to escape it. So I guess it becomes a necessary evil. So yeah, I guess so,” Zach Thorseth, a junior majoring in broadcast journalism, said.
She Said: “No, never okay. Without honesty in a relationship there is no trust, and the relationship will never go anywhere because the foundation is not strong,” Morgan Karges, a freshman majoring in elementary education, said.
The age-old cliché saying “honestly is the best policy” encourages people to believe that complete truth means the greatest happiness. Let’s be “honest” though. If a guy said, “Yes, those jeans actually do make you look fat,” or a girl said, “Your mom is a terrible person,” that relationship would be headed toward a fight and quite possibly an end. The question is: Where can the line be drawn between “little white lies” and harmful ones?
As humans, we tell small lies almost daily. For example, when your professor asks if you did the reading for class, you nod fervently and hope he does not hand out a pop quiz. Likewise, when your lab partner asks if you are almost to your 8 a.m. lab, you reply, “Leaving now!” even though you just rolled out of bed. These lies rarely harm others, and we spew them out without second thoughts.
When it comes to relationships though, lying becomes a bit touchier. Many times, people lie to avoid conflict or to keep from hurting the other person. Usually, an occasional omission of information or a small fib causes no problems, but when the lies grow or constantly get repeated, trouble follows close behind.
Good things to lie about are insecurities and harsh opinions about the other person. Ladies, you may feel closer to your man when you share all the small things about your looks for which you feel insecure, but the truth is he probably didn’t notice the tiny bit of hair above your lip until you pointed it out.
Likewise, guys, if you do notice a small imperfection in your girlfriend, don’t bring it up, because she will forever feel insecure about that part of her body when she is around you.
Here’s the skinny on what not to lie about: If you hang out with an ex, want to break up, need a guy’s or girl’s night, cheat on someone, etc., do not lie about your whereabouts or actions to spare the other person’s feelings.
When he or she finds out not only what you did, but that you lied about it, things are going to get ugly. Be up front about what you need or want, and avoid greater harm in the future.
If you honestly do think her jeans make her look fat, or if you truly hate his mother, take that information with you to the grave.