He Said, She Said
‘What Is the Best Way to Breakup With Someone?’
Published: Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, November 7, 2012 16:11
He Said: “I’d say the best way to break up with someone depends on what the relationship was. Was it serious, not serious, long term, etc. If it was nothing special it should be fairly easy and straightforward. If it was a long-term relationship, I’d say getting together and explaining how things are and how they’ve changed is a good way of going about breaking up with someone,” Andy Goracke, a junior majoring in sports management, said.
She Said: “I would say in person, in a public place so that you hold yourself together and don’t talk to them after you are broken up,” Cassi Wurm, a freshman majoring in business management, said.
Frequently, the point in your relationship arrives where you know that if he interrupts you again or if she insults your friends one more time, you will freak out. You know this relationship is not going to work, and you realize a breakup is long overdue, but you have no idea how to go about it.
Unfortunately, tons of people get stuck in relationships because they are too chicken to end it, or they do not know how. Some revert to the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” line (believe me, we all know it is actually the other person) or other cliché methods. While no breakup can be completely problem-free, tactics exist to amicably end a relationship without getting your tires slashed.
First and foremost, figure out why it is not working for you. That way, when questions arise about the reasons why you are breaking his or her heart, you have concrete examples. Plus, once you understand what personality traits or habits you did not like, and you honestly explain them to the other person, each of you can benefit.
For example, you can now look for someone with better table manners, and he can find a person who appreciates how he can burp the alphabet backwards after dinner.
Second, do it in person and in private. According to Men’s Health, nearly 25 percent of people polled by Facebook’s “Are You Interested” app said that they found out they were single because the other person had changed from “In a Relationship” to “Single” on their profile.
Even if you have only been dating for a week, the other person deserves more than a social media breakup, or even a text or an email. Grow up, face the other person, give them solid reasons, let them ask questions, and then be done -- hopefully with closure.
Finally, do not delay breaking it off. The other person will not appreciate being strung along or ignored until you decide that you are brave enough. It will be a lot less messy to break up as soon as you know that your feelings are not going to change. Along those same lines, when you actually talk to them, forget the sugarcoating. Be direct in the nicest way possible.
Be as classy as possible about it, understand your true reasons, and give the other person the courtesy of doing it in person. Think about how you would wish to be broken up with if the situation was reversed. While breaking up is hard to do, if done correctly, it can save a lot of heartache and questions.
Next week’s question:
“What are the most important words to hear from a significant other?”
Have an answer? Email it plus your name, major, and year in school, to firstname.lastname@example.org.