The Honest Truth
Published: Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, October 31, 2012 15:10
Dear Honest Truth,
One of my friends graduated last spring, but this fall he has started coming back to the university. He uses many different department facilities that are paid with through student fees. When other students notice that he’s hanging around campus, they text me because they know that we are friends. I’m not sure if he is having trouble moving on, or if he simply is using the university facilities, but it seems like I need to do something. While I want to urge him to seek help in dealing with moving on and the uncertainty that the future brings, I don’t want it to come across as an attack. I’ve stood up for my personal space in not allowing him to use my student ID or desk storage space, however, you should know that he has also been asking other students for such favors. How might I approach this issue without losing our friendship?
Awkward and Concerned Bison
Dear Awkward and Concerned Bison,
He needs to move on with his life. I understand that it may be difficult for him to transition into the real world after being in school for so long, but it is not your job to cater to his needs after he has graduated. It is super awkward that he is using the university’s facilities, and it is especially awkward for him to ask to use the desk space that is allotted to students, not alumni. That would be like you returning to your old high school and asking to share a locker with one of the students -- it wouldn’t be acceptable. He needs to grow up, and I’m sure that because you two are friends, he’ll understand that you only want the best for him and what you say won’t come off as an attack. Instead, it will most likely come across as helpful. Perhaps this nudge from someone like you will help propel him forward with his life, rather than living in the past and trying to clutch onto this history he has with NDSU. Break it to him gently, and he’ll soon realize that he can’t go forward if he’s constantly looking back.