Never too old to learn anew

Written by Derek Gaffney Tuesday, 17 November 2009 08:00

I have come to realize that the best part of Facebook is that it lets me stay up to date with the people I went to high school with without ever having to speak or interact with them.

For me, the best part about being “friends” with the kids I graduated with is waiting for the inevitable; and that is seeing ultrasound pictures of the illegitimate children the young women of my town will ultimately give birth to.

Those pictures always let me know that even though I have made some mistakes and bad choices in my life, I have not quite screwed it up completely yet.

The most recent pregnancy I found out about through Facebook did not come as a shock, nor did it disappoint me, but it saddened me. It showed me how our emotions can blind us and keep our common sense out of the way.

This particular girl that I graduated with entitled her ultrasound album, “I’m Pregnant,” with the comment of “hah, oopps.”

Not to be overdramatic or anything, but if I found out I was going to have a kid when I was twenty, I would have chosen a few stronger, and more importantly, correctly spelled words than “oopps.” A phrase that rhymed with “spit duck block calls” would most likely have sufficed.

I believe this just goes to show that the person I graduated with is either extremely more or extremely less mature than me. My hope is more, because she is going to be taking care of another human being.

The part I really can’t fathom to any extent is to why she is still with her drug-dealing, unfaithful boyfriend. I can see staying with a drug dealer, because they make good money.

Hell, I want to be a drug dealer someday too. The drugs I want to deal are considered legal, and I will pay taxes on my income, but you get the drift. However, I cannot see why any single person would stay with an unfaithful significant other.

Now, I can see a girl staying with a boyfriend after that boyfriend cheated on her once. It is because the girl either is, or thinks she is, in love with him.

My 7th grade girlfriend cheated on me by kissing some guy in the family locker rooms at my local community center (I come from a classy town), and I stayed with her for months after that.

I did this because I thought I loved her. Of course, a 7th grade boy’s ability to love and his girlfriend’s willingness to let him touch her boobs are directly proportional.

What saddened me about this girl’s pregnancy is that she knows her boyfriend cheats on her. He has done it over and over and over again, and she knows it.

In fact, the longest conversation this girl has ever had with me was about her boyfriend cheating on her, and how, at the time, his most recent affair happened to be with someone related to me.

Now, I was young and dumb about my 7th grade relationship, but I had the excuse of being new to that whole hormone thing. I can even see how a high school senior could mistake lust for love, because high school students are even dumber than freshmen, if you can believe it.

What I do not understand is how a college-age young woman could possibly love someone who repeatedly cheats on her. How can someone love another person who is not faithful?

This blows my mind folks. I just cannot wrap my head around it. Unfortunately, Facebook does not have a “Why are you still dating that dude?” application. If anyone out there wants to explain this phenomenon to me, I would gladly listen.

Did I mention her boyfriend deals drugs for a living? I’m sure that baby has a real shot at success.

Derek is a first year professional student in the college of pharmacy.