You can’t fix ugly
Written by Lacie Cunningham Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:00
To be a professional in many careers, one is required to maintain a certain level of appearance. Want to be a talk show host or how about a nationally watched new anchor? You have to keep up on the grooming.
Another group that is seen by millions of people in America every week is the over-paid work force known as the players of the National Basketball Association.
Ugly duckling does not even begin to describe a few of these fellows. For me, knowing that I was being watched by millions of people every week would be all the motivation I would need to fix the ugly that I had going on.
All in good fun, I looked around the NBA’s recent past and present, and have compiled my top ten most visually unappealing ballers.
10. Sam Cassell. Cue the split screen with E.T.
9. Tyrone Hill. Looking at him gives me the undeniable urge to get up and do the Thriller dance around my living room because of his uncanny resemblance to MJ, the zombie version, in this famous music video.
8. Gheorghe Muresan. A blast from the past, the 7 foot 7 inch Muresan came to the NBA from Romania, but I wish he had stayed there. Starring in the movie “My Giant” does not get him any extra credit.
7. Chris Kaman. The Clippers star seems more like an over-grown backwoods kid with his long stringy blond hair and blank stare, than a guy who is putting up a team leading an average of 20.9 points per game.
6. Robert Swift. All the tattoos in the world cannot cover all that ugly.
5. Popeye Jones. If Shrek ever becomes a Broadway play, they do not have to look far for their leading ogre.
4. Shelden Williams. Ugly and from Duke.
3. Adam Morrison. No, do not adjust your television screen – it is still 2009 and not 1975, as Morrison would have you believe.
2. Pau Gasol. This was a hard one for me to admit, as the Lakers are my team of choice since back in the day, but it is hard to not see the ugly in those ostrich arms and lizard-like appearance.
1. Joakim Noah. There are no words. Living proof that pretty parents do not make pretty babies.
